"Can you tell me which is the coach number 10"
"You are standing next to it"
"You are so helpful. Can you also tell me which coach you are in"
"10, why?"
"oh nothing! just wanted to know where to find you if i have to locate my coach again"
"huh! are you sure you are going to lose it again."
"Not this time."
"Why not"
"This time this coach has you"
He climbed up and put his bag down and sat down heavily on the seat. He didnt even feel the need to ask the name of the girl. Just felt alive to see her smile at his outrageousness. Slowly the train started rolling and the city was going away the second time. He reminisced the distance he has covered in the so many years. It seemed that he has grown old and forgotten to live for the past so many years. But he didnt regret it. it was a strange feeling. He was trying hard to regret but couldnt feel it. to have loved and lost was perhaps not something to regret about.
Rajesh ramayan kuthrapalli. Fondly called Raj by his friends. He had a black complexion and resembled vintage cars of the nawabs. Never had any girl glanced at him let alone have a crush. Had a real miserable childhood with friends picking up on him till he got tired of it all and decided to change once and for all. He decided that disregard to his ugly looks he will become attractive. A paradox indeed. An innate idea materialised in him which made him seek greatness. And in this wildness he came across a friend who told him that to make a first impression you need to become impressionable. A magnetic personality needs to be developed and one thing that would help in the process would be to be good in something which more than average number of ppl cant do at all. and so he started learning guitar. for one year he used to come home directly. hardly ever played cricket with his classmates, though he retained his position as a captain of atleast one side. He took classes and slowly started understanding music. Something which was started off for a very different purpose ironically took him for a very difficult turn. He took up music and now music started taking him. The symbiosis had started and before he could know the door had closed and he was all alone with his guitar. one year hence a new girl had come to his class. she was pretty than a fairy and the entire city seemed to be in love with her. And so was Raj. He sat down and thought of impressing the girl and decided to find out what she liked. But this chick seemed to be a studious one and seemed to know all the answers the teachers put out, a surprise to many and attraction to some. Every year there was an intercollege music competition and raj was participating this time around. No body seemd to care too mcuh about the event except that this time there own school was hosting it so it was mandatory to attend. Raj performed quite dismally and was frustrated that his favourite pluck was lost just before tournament and he was not happy with the substitute .To his surprise when the results came he won almost unanimously. he was wished by one and all for his success. this pretty girl too came up to wish him.
"Congratulations!"
"Thanks!"
"We are proud of you"
"And you"
"I am too, i meant the same"
"But to me the second one meant a lot more than the first"
"Huh!"
The entire night he replayed his conversation and improvised upon the same and in the twilight before going into a deep slumber he finalised that he could have had done a lot better and the smile she gave meant nothing.
For the next few days he didnt get a chance to be face to face with her.
Then during the morning prayers she came next to him and gave him a smile. Raj was at a loss. Something this amazing had never happened to him. his face contorted in a forced attempt to smile while hiding the glee and the final plausible emotion that could be deduced was more of agony and less of an icebreaker. She walked away and raj didnt knew what to do next. He decided that he should try to talk to her and make his move. Ana on the other hand was not impervious to shining eyes of pure innocence. She knew that Raj was in love with her. She decided that if proposed she would say yes.
Sitting in the coach life seemed a distant reality. Contrary to what everybody thought Raj became an entreprenuer and now that he realised he hadnt touched a guitar in a long long time. The dreams that he had lived with seemed a maze of puzzles and thousands of thoughts were fleeting across his mind. Today the last string was unwound and now life was simple again. When he was leaving the city he decided that he would never return back home. he was mad with his father, who had found out about his habits and gave him the grief.
College had been a real eye opener for him. he learnt how to make friends and live with that friendship. he also learnt that friendships when made without any discretion might fail causing hurt and pain, and lastly he had learnt to bear that pain.
Raj became an addict in college. His circles were on constant dope and consequently were bad boys gang, not that any body hated them. Guys who dope are generally the loved ones. But his habit was leaked back home and hence the dough was no more coughed out to him. His father gave him the grief and he decided that he had too much pride to ask for the money and so he started taking guitar tuitions to cover for his studies and stash. He also had to kick in a few things on the side to furnish additional income. These were the dark periods of his life and few of the things he did were never mentioned to even the closest of his friends. He even had to please an elderly lady to pay off his college fees, something which he dint mind though. The school administration got a wind of the small circle doing round in the corners of the hostel, and came down hard on his group. Most of them were terminated. Raj was saved the Axe because the faculty counselor was a fan of his music talent and thought of his as a victim. Little did she know how deep his connections were,almost a designated consigliere. She put in a good word for him and so his skin was saved, and almost changed his entire future. Somehow he graduated and joined a company. Professional career changed his life forever. He never talked about his family to anyone and a slow tiny vacuum kept engulfing him till the hollowness was sonorous enough. Even the drinking couldnt do the trick. He decided to quit.
All these years with all the dope and liquor he had often wondered the secrets of life, the purpose of it all. Many times he had convinced the amateurs and the newbies the way of life and they had worshiped him, always coming up to him for advice. He was in the zone, invincible and compassionate for all. For a brief time he didn't even had to work for dope as the newbies who came up to to The heritage brought dough with them. He hardly left the heritage(his room) for few months. Smoke was lit round the clock while music and movies ruled the roost. They came with their woes and he listened. Sometimes offered few advices too but mostly he listened sitting back on his chair as he drank long nights. As it turns out a bottle of liquor is a small price for time, and the hostel mates readily paid their dues when they visited the Heritage.
For three years he was between jobs. Somehow his confidence was at rock bottom since he hardly knew where his life was. He had started comparing his life to that of his batch-mates and disillusionment kept taking hold of him. The tall invincibility wall was blown to dust and pebbles was tread all over by his bosses and colleagues as he tried desperately to mix with the commoners as a newbie. He was trampled over and screwed by all and sundry. Pretty soon his past caught up to him. He quit his job.
Strength!
He started a website.Gathered all his guitar notes and published them on his site. An old apprentice helped him out in designing the website, as a tribute to the legend for old days. First few months were tough. only his friends and theirs had visited the site. In the meantime he was making a personal collection of all songs and collating them on his site. Time flew and the collection grew. He had even prepared a list of all the search engines and was paying off a dozen of those search-sites to display his site on the top of their search. He also gave suggestions on the types of guitar to buy. Few of the music shops started quoting prices on his site. Customers started ordering stuff too. It was during this phase that the real mentor in him emerged as a mature professional and an entrepreneur. He organised rock concerts and sold out the tickets. T-shirts were made , piercings circulated. He recruited a basket of freshers to help him manage the website. He bought a modest stakes in a top music company and obtained selective albums distribution rights. He cut a deal with a leading publishing house and the heritage grew.
One month back his secretary got a call from a leading news-channel requesting an appointment for an interview. She was delighted, little knowing that Raj himself had arranged for this interview . Raj was now considered one of the youngest entrepreneur of the country.
He sat on his arm chair in the solace of his room as he watched his broadcast for the 9th time.From the top drawer of his desk he took out the photograph of the girl he loved and had hoped to marry. She was the one on whose insistence he had quit smoking and drinking, on the condition that she would love him for ever if he did so. But eventually she had refused to elope with him. She wanted him to arrange their marriage the old custom way. His family to go and talk to her family for her hand. Last year she got married to a guy of decent family. His body ached for a cigarette. He took a deep breadth allowing the desire to pass away. Then he took another deep breadth to allow the whiskey desire to pass. He took another look at the telegram in his lap. His father had passed away following a liver failure. He had sent home money for the liver transplant to his mother. Doctors fees and hospitals bills had cost him a small fortune. Slowly the feeling was sinking in to him. He found it strange that he hardly felt any grief. 10 years back when he had left the house in the middle of the night with no money in his pocket, his fathers had complained that he had squandered his hard earned money and the kind of life he had to live because of the cost of raising him. Raj too had pointed out , before barging out ,the rough sum his father had spent on him in his entire lifetime which surprisingly was a very small fraction of the actual sum that was claimed and had promised to return him every penny spent on him.
Dismissing his thoughts, he rose from the chair , packed up his bag and went to the airport. 10 long years as a loner. the fugitive was going back to his family house, to a dead father and a mother.
